I could still feel his eyes on me, waiting for me to give in to the inevitable. It had been a good four hours since I came up here, to the summit. Everyday I did this, and it never took long for him to follow me up. I had never given in, and I didn't plan to start today. Instead, I returned my focus within, seeing the currents as they came toward me and moving just so, making sure that I was in the perfect position for them to continue supporting me.
I sat with my back against a thick post, my legs crossed with both feet on the opposite knee, my hands flat on my ankles. I didn't hold them up, but simply rested my palm against my pulse, breathing in time.
If he hadn't been watching, I would've left ages ago, but that's why I never confronted him. I figured he was helping me improve, making sure that I would do anything to stay sitting against that post, freezing in the thin air. Time faded away again, like it had been before the gravel got lodged in my pants, and before I knew it the sun was beating on my neck. Already it was sore and hard to move around, so I knew I had a sunburn.
I also knew I was going to be late if I didn't move myself. This was the only way I could be sure nobody thought less of me here; waiting until I had no choice but to stop. Unwinding, I found that my cramp had moved into both arches of my feet, and I smothered a gasp, stretching carefully. Then I reached behind me to massage my back and hips, working out the tough ball of nerves that was hiding in my thigh.
Hurrying, I came down from the summit, reveling silently in the warmth of the torches in the hall. My steps echoed alone until I went through the heavy cloth curtains that blocked off the hot main chambers where the monks held the evening classes. Stopping the dreamy sigh from coming out when the heat sank into my skin, I headed to my assigned place, sitting on the large cushion that lay before my stack of books.
My fellow disciples were talking quietly amongst themselves, and it had been long enough so they no longer ceased conversation at my presence. Now they ignored me and talked quieter if I was close.
I was the only girl in a school of all boy students, and they made sure I was aware of it every moment of the day. Even the monks addressed me simply as, "Girl". No, they couldn't just call me 'Miss Brenan', even when they addressed the boys by name.
It's not like I asked for special treatment. It wasn't my decision that I be transferred here, but if I was going to be at a mountain school that taught fighting to the upper years, I wasn't going to slack off just because they were mean to me. My father had barely spoken a kind word to me in four years, my sisters and brother had been shipped off to a finishing school, and my step mother hated me; there was nothing these boys could say to break me.
Especially when I was so close. The meditation lessons would progress into battle stances within the month, or so I had heard among the servants. Apparently it was tradition to begin the 'defensive positions' in the fall, so the disciples would be ready to move on to sparring in the spring and summer months, when the ground was firm enough to fight on.
I was the heiress to my father's house of state, so it had been decided I should attend the monk academy instead of my brother. Only one child from each family was allowed to attend at a time, and I knew my brother had been relieved by the news, so I had seized the chance.
Sure, my father meant only to punish me in the disguise of letting me learn about duty and staying calm in the moment, but I was going to take everything I could from the school.
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